Why I'd rather not earn your money even though I enjoy teaching your daughter tennis

I enjoy teaching tennis to your daughter because she is positive, energetic, fast learner, and grateful. 

However, the list stops at your daughter. In actual fact, I'd rather not earn your money. Yes, which means unfortunately for your daughter, you could take her somewhere else. 

• You are stingy
  
• You always ask for timeslots that do not factor in a young person's (me) need to go out and have fun.
  
• You fail to acknowledge what good I'm doing for your daughter's tennis, in comparison to what LITTLE she could have achieved with the other coach on the next court.
  
• I might feel slightly better if you gave me some other sideline business, i.e. buy Pharmanex G3 from me, or buy Quantum Pendant from me, but no... even that, you want some ridiculous discount.
  
• You expected me to teach at 6pm on a Friday that is a public holiday (May Day) and would not consider having the same lesson on the morning - perhaps because you, and not she, does not want to get out of bed. Come on, she is old enough to stroll down to the tennis court, which is safely within the same premises of the condo. Obviously, I cancelled the lesson, because I had BETTER things to do.
  
• Today, you smsed to say "Please be punctual for the lesson, as our time is also precious". 
  

What the hell? I told you Fridays are not good for me, but you say that if it were any other day, it'd interfere with your daughter's tuition, homework, and whatever else. So fine... Fridays... even if it means I have to have a quick shower, skip dinner to go meet my friends. For your daughter's sake, not your sake. Then I tell you that I already have a student who learns with me 5-6pm on Fridays, and for YOUR DAUGHTER's sake, I managed to get them him to start at 430pm. The previous week, he was not able to book the tennis court in his place for the earlier hour, and thus, I suggested to end the class at 5.45, and charged a lesser fee, so that I could return to teach your daughter at 6 or so. I SPECIFICALLY told you, that such was the case, and allow me some time for traffic delay, given it was a Friday. Eventually, there were traffic delays, and I only reach the court at 6.14. At that moment, I had an SMS from you. It read:

"Then let's cancel today". 

However, I only saw this after the lesson which I ended at 7.15pm. I'm wondering... how on earth can ANYONE be so FUCKING UNAPPRECIATIVE? 

So what? You want me to cancel my earlier student's class since he couldn't get the court at the right time? If I hadn't shifted his timing, your daughter would not be able to do class with me on a weekly basis. You want to deprive another kid of your daughter's age the chance to learn? How selfish can you get?

Look now, I already told you, I DON'T TEACH TENNIS FOR A LIVING. I still teach the few students I have left out of passion for the game. I have other sources of income. I'm barely affected financially if it rains out all week. I DO NOT NEED YOUR BUSINESS. 

So stop talking as if I do, and being rude.

In fact, I'm prepared you to give you a refund of all the unclaimed lessons if you piss me off again later, at 6pm. In CASH. I have it ready, in my wallet. 

Probably, someone might hire me for FULL-RATE in your absense, and tip on top of that. Speaking of which, have you no tact? You video tape all my lessons for revision and study, but don't offer me an additional fee!

You just wait and see what I'm going to say to you. Trust me, it will be anything but kind.

Cheapo tinyurl link? Expect me to click?

Stupid old fart typed.

"Why on earth would someone sign up into your biz? Find out at our upcoming webinar" Please click tinyurl.com/dkafm

With a url like that, how about "Why on earth would someone click your damn link?"

Real Funny! Have you heard the Ponyo On The Cliff By The Sea Pork Version Swine Flu Remix? Laugh Your Head Off!

Amid the current Swine Flu crisis, I decided that something I came up with sometime ago but procrastinated on producing has become current again! So thus, there you have it, a sing-a-long complete with lyrics. 

Mysterious Deaths in Perak: Swine Flu May Have Been Probagated By Religion

A Malaysian acquaintence shared with me over dinner how he lost an uncle to Swine Influenza. He mentioned some very compelling details with regard to how errant Muslim members of government service might have contributed to the global-wide Swine Flu Crisis. While I cannot ascertain the authenticity of his claims, his account is highly plausible. I don't think a anyone would just lie about a relative dying. Allow me to share with you just what he told me. I hope I won't be forced to remove this post. Regardless, it does bring up some very valid points and measures that need to be carefully observed in management and future prevention of this disruptive epidemic.

Ivan (not his real name), who lived in the countryside in Perak, had two relatives who were farmers. 5 years ago, he already predicted that a crisis of this magnitude would happen, should swine (pig) issues be improperly handled. As you know, Swine Flu includes strains of influenza that has been spread from pig to human. The two relatives saw that 3 members of the nearby pig farms died. His exact words, “dropping dead”. Health conscious, fit, healthy people, dying mysteriously.

Health and environment officials were summoned to inspect the case, but dismissed any possibility of a potential epidemic, instead blaming the deaths on medical causes.

People who had contact with the pigs were continued to die similarly over the next two years. It became apparent that the pigs were the cause of the problem. The two relatives attempted to speak with the farmers on their suspicion. On their visit, despite their concerns being shrugged off, they discovered a few things:

1)Pigs were dying too.
2)Dead pigs were deemed as wasteful, and their carcasses were processed on-site by farm handlers to feed the live pigs.
3)Farm handlers involved in food preparation and feeding were also ill with influenza.

With these findings, they made another report to the health and environment authorities. While the authorities finally agreed they had a case, nothing was done. Specifically, while the authorities deemed that the pigs needed to be exterminated, their representatives involved were Muslim, and not wanting to come in contact with the pigs either, they paid the farmers money to get rid of the pigs themselves.

What do you think the farmers did with the money? It's obvious isn't it? They didn't exterminate the pigs. They kept the “extermination expense money” and re-invested it in their colony of sick pigs.

A handler died, but was replaced by a new hire. These deaths went un-reported in the national press, which Ivan described as peace-seeking.

Ivan's relatives were obviously disgruntled about the apathetic authorities. But, without having any other form of recourse, rallied more support from neighbours in the countryside to petition to the authorities for action to be taken. The authorities did respond this time. But foolishly, and carelessly, they sent out notices of warning to the pig farmers that they would be exterminating their swine for health measure, and they even gave the dates that this would be done.

What do you think happened? Obviously, the farmers didn't want their life's work to be killed and buried. These were their “Cash-Machines” so to speak. Many of the farmers and pigs fled to other parts of the country, like Serembun. Clearly, it was a failed attempt to contain the problem.

For the pigs that remained in that part of Perak, the pigs would be killed and buried. But killed and buried they weren't. There are guidelines to how deep a pit should be, and the maximum volume of carcasses to a pit. But these guidelines were flouted. A deeper excavation requires more man hours and thus more cost to the authorities. Ivan said that they dug shallower pits, and more pigs than stipulated were dumped into them.

[Picture Taken from: http://www.magickriver.net/pigs.htm]

Some of the pigs weren't dead when buried. And because the pits weren't deep enough, and were also overloaded, a handful of live pigs, that were compressed amid diseased pigs escaped into the wilds. Since that day, 1 of Ivan's relatives who actively lobbied for the removal of these pigs actually died, of an uncommon Influenza.

Ivan is unsure if these deaths and the spread of the Swine Influenza has also manifested in Serembun. If it did, it probably went un-reported as well.

Tony Leung as the new Ip Man? Phuey!

The news is out.. There's gonna be an Ip Man 2, The Grand Master, and no, Donnie Yen is not reprising his role. Instead, it's gonna be Lust, Caution actor, Tony Leung Chiu Wai.


One theory is that Tony Leung is a favorite of' Ip Man 2: The Grand Masters' director Wong Kar Wai. But I just don't see how this lame ass dude who's better acting police officers, is gonna fit the martial arts bill. Silencer on hardwarezone forum, suggested

Originally Posted by Silencer This Wong Kar Wai version will have Ip Man acted by Tony Leong, combing his hair in front of the mirror for the 1st 20min of the show instead of practising his Wing Chun

Very Apt indeed.

Wasn't it because Donnie Yen had a martial arts background, and was thus chosen for the meaty role, which we all, including Ip Chun, thought did justice to the latter's father? Tony Leung on the other hand, had only obtained his 6-pack abs in preparation of this movie. Sorry Tony, I think you should stick to acting stressed and bonking university students will armpit hair.

Screen shot from Lust, Caution. That's skinny wimpy Tony Leung bonking uni-gal with armpit hair.

Straits Times Life! said today that Lin Chin Hsia will be making a movie comeback, starring as the leader of another martial arts sect in this upcoming installment of the film. That sure brings back memories of the Jet Li films I used to watch as a kid.

I'm not too keen on watching yet another lousy follow-up. I thought Xmen Origins: Wolverine sucked. And Fast and Furious 4 sucked too. Whats your view on Tony Leung as Ip Man?

Registration Info for Singapore Idol 3: AVAILABLE HERE! NOW!

QUIT BEING SINGAPORE-IDLE people, Singapore Idol 3 is here! And here (scroll down la!) is the info, in case you've been searching around and failed to find it. I also have the info for the actual day of auditions, and venue. Click this image for details... or you may squint if you have good eyesight, or a big monitor.



Are you going? Leave a comment if you plan on going, or if you'd be keen on a group Karaoke session to prepare!!!

Meanwhile, just some extra info, taken from http://idol.mediacorptv.sg/

# You must be in line by 8a.m. at the Audition Venue. Registration for the Auditions closes at 6p.m.

# You must register online, then print out the online application form and bring the signed application form (photo included) with you on the day of Registration -- 6 June to the Registration Venue. You must also bring your letter of Confirmation with your reference number on it.

# You MUST bring along a piece of ID that includes a Recent photo. The information provided in the Application Form should correspond with the information provided in the ID. For Singapore citizens please bring along your NRIC. For non-Singapore citizens (including Singapore PR), please bring along your passport.

# Auditions are NOT by appointment, you must come by 8a.m and join the Official Queue.

# Auditions will be first-come, first-seen. It is up to you to decide when to arrive at the auditions. Please anticipate long queues.

# Please remember that the audition process may take up to several hours, so please plan accordingly. Do ensure that you have a hearty breakfast before queuing at the venue, and come prepared for an audition process lasting several hours.

# If you are under 21 years of age as of the date of registration, please ensure that you bring along a letter of approval from a parent or guardian with their signatures. You are allowed to bring a parent or guardian with you, but they will only be allowed into the Reception & Registration Areas, depending on the day's turnout.

# For those over 21, guests will be permitted based on the day's turnout. No guests - family or friends-are allowed into the audition room with you.

# PLEASE COME DRESSED TO IMPRESS, but remember NOT to wear clothes with visible logos, trademarks or offensive language.

# Be prepared to sing two songs of your choice a cappella (without music), one of which must be in English. You will be required to sing a verse and a chorus, but it is good to know the entire song. You must provide the titles of the songs, and the original artistes (singers) to the person judging your performance.

Who's game? What song will you be singing?

My Experience at RWS Singer/Dancer/Actor Monday's Auditions!

Universal Studios was fishing for talent in conjunction with RWS. The selected few would get a year's performing contract, and the chance to live as a performer, and all that on-the-job free singing, dancing and acting training, and possibly travel the various Universal Studios entertainment resorts! It'd be like the boat I missed with Music and Drama Company during my National Service (CPC bastards didn't want to release me). 

On Monday I responded to the Resorts World Sentosa- Universal Studios casting call. Obviously, as I can only sing and play tennis, I auditioned for a singing role. 

Here are some pictures:

This is me upon arrival at 1015am. The spectacles, you may ask, well, aren't of any degree, but just to give me that added shield from recognition should I embarrass myself (like I eventually did in the dance segment).

Here's the other folks attending the event. My queue number was number 0087! 87's a nice number.. 8+7=15. 1+5=6. 6=Money!

There were older folks too..  This 0094 was another example. Eventually the last registrant was like 120 or something... I think they were really expecting thousands.. But if you add in the actor/impersonator auditioneers in the afternoon, still just about 300 people tops... 

The oldest contestant was some 70+ year old man who was there to sing Hokkien songs. S-l-o-w M-o-t-i-o-n Hokkien songs that is. He was swarmed with the various media reporters. I of course, couldn't be bothered to give him additional picture publicity.

Then there was a troupe of multi-skilled folks who were ex Singapore Armed Forces' Music and Drama Company. There were also some breakdancers and blonde professional dancers. 

It was a rather in-efficiently run audition, as it took over 2 hours to get to my turn. For the earlier parts, there was little movement in the queue, for all of the first hour! I bid my time blogging, trading forex and surfing facebook. 

Then of course some reporter came to interview me as I was so evidently bo-chup about the whole event. I might appear in MyPaper again, this week. Maybe today, tomorrow, or Friday. I don't expect a positive article. LOL! Well, I did already lay out that I wasn't too game for the dance parts which later manifested to be significant in qualification for final selections. At any rate, it's a good preparation for Singapore Idol.

Some other folks were just so freaking trying to hard, and attention seeking. C'mon man, who the hell spends hours warming up vocals? Well this person.. who, did nothing to offend me, other than perhaps pollute my air-space, who cockily replied the registration lady, "I'm a singer-dancer-actress", when asked what she was trying out for.

My first thoughts... Then wouldn't she care more for appearances?- complexion? hair? extra fatty mass? Or did she mean off-season dancer. Well, she did have some trouble getting into a nice split. She was singing the same English Classical stuff Charlotte Church got sick of, over and over again, like no one else was present. Spare me!

Strong vocals, to give fair comment, but even so, just a short 15 minute warmup, or 30 mins tops, good enough! There were many others too who just went on and on repeating their songs. Thankfully, not as loud, but still, I really think singers should preserve themselves for their Golden chance in the audition room. 

So I got through the singing bit easy. I prepared 2 songs, Josh Groban's "You're Still You", and James Morrison's "You Make It Real For Me". I sang the former, as I was told to perform my best song. I took a bit of time fumbling with my Mobile Youtube application on the E71 to find my opening note, and they were getting impatient. But contrary to tales of the judges being hostile and looking no further than the edge of their desks, the judges were all smiles during my performance, and said "Great! We'd like you to stay on for the dance audition up next". 

Surely I could muster an at least passable dance audition? To my benefit, it was a group-scale choreography and not a solo performance. To my disadvantage though, my long break from the dance classes in the gym had degenerated my right foot to a second left one. My dance act was nothing short of preposterous! LOL! And no, they were adamant on having people who could both sing and dance, and they were totally closed to those who could do one thing well at the expense of the other.

The Singer-Dancer-Actress at least was visibly able to learn the routine. Not sure if she eventually got picked though. 

Oh well, so as I told the reporter, the event served as a good lead-up to Singapore Idol. To be told that my singing audition was "great", and to have kapos outside the door praise me on my exit is a confirmation that my efforts since the last Singapore Idol (which I exited Round 3 of auditions) had paid off.

Oh btw, I love Griblit